Travel Tips

First off, a big thank you to the lovely ladies who kept this blog afloat over the past 2 weeks while I was busy sunning myself. I really appreciate the help! You wouldn't believe how tired I am from spending 2 weeks sipping margaritas. Hard work, that! Whew! It was fabulous, or as the Mexicans' would say Fantastico, to read what everyone wrote. Ladies, put your right hand up in the air, bend it at the elbow and give yourself a pat on the back.

I have a ton of things I experienced on vacation that I am just dying to share with you. Therefore, I have decided to do a Theme Week. Our Theme will be Vacation Observations. By the way do you like my knees? I was thinking of you the whole time I was taking this picture. Could you feel me sending you my love? See, you thought it was indigestion! Blame the bagel boy no longer.

Today's post is going to be my top seven tips for having a vacation that is FANTASTICO! Don't you just love that word? FANTASTICO! It should come with a required ! at the end.

1. The trick to tips is simple, if you are going for a week you can get away with $50 in $1 bills. Get them from the bank before you leave. If you are going for 2 weeks, double it. You should tip $2-4 every other day to the girl that cleans your room. $1 at most meals unless the services is FANTASTICO!, then up it. Tip $1 every couple of drinks at the bar, not every drink. I usually find a well placed $1 right off the bat and one a few drinks later has the best result.
   
   
2. Don't bring anything bigger than a $20, you will find that dealers don't want to give you change, prefering to pocket the difference.
   
   
3. If you are going to a hot place with a beach be aware that all the rooms will be tiled. Tiles are not built for those who wish to make stealthy entrances and exits. They also suck if you are in a room underneath a stiletto wearing fashionista. Request a room on the top floor of the building you are staying. Don't let an overzealous cleaning lady ruin your siesta.
   
   
4. Ask if the plane is full when you sign-in. If it isn't, ask if they would be nice enough to put you and your partner in a 3 seat row by yourself. If the flight is full, ask for aisle seats. Everyone wants to see out the window, but face it, at 40,000 feet their ain't much to see and there is no faster way to earn the loathing of your seat mates if you have to go to the bathroom. Aisle seats allow you easy access to the toilet and extra leg and arm space in the aisle.
   
   
5. Bring medication for both bladder and diarrhea infections. Your doctor can give you a prescription for one pill that will cure both. Trust me they don't do penicillin in 3rd world countries unless you reach across the table and shake the shit out the resort doctor. Illness ruins a vacation, and you can carry prescription medication for 2 years before it goes bad.
   
   
6. Pack aqua socks. You can get them for about $8-10 here, at a resort you will pay $30 or more. Almost all resorts will have certain sections of the beach that are too rocky to use without them. Plus, they come in handy if you want to do water sports.
   
   
7. Bring After Bite, tons of sun tan lotion, sunburn cream, Tylenol and pepto. Because if you don't you'll be paying though the teeth, see point 5.