Monday, May 20, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Friday, May 03, 2013
Say it to yourself:
He's agressive at work
She's aggressive at work
You can feel the difference when you say the two lines. Do you see the change in perception? Its subtle, but its there. For him, aggressive is good. He's striving for something. Working hard. Bring home the bacon. For her aggressive is bad. She's pushy. Rude. Far too loud.
And for some strange reason women seem to be leading this trend. I can't believe how often I hear this word batted around by one woman about another. When women talk this way about other women, what does that say about our perception of ourselves and others, especially in the workplace? What exactly do we believe? Do we truly believe that we can get ahead in the workplace by quietly tip-toeing around? Are we expressing some unspoken truth that being a mute presence in a busy, hectic office gets you promoted? Because that has never been my reality. In fact, I often find that the woman mouthing the word is usually the most passive aggressive person in your office. Passive aggressive is just another form of aggression. It's just done behind your back, instead of to your face. Which makes gives it the same credibility as gossip. Unfortunately, whisper campaigns are much loved by this type of person.
And who hasn't worked at a company where the first answer to any question is 'No', 'That's not my job' or 'I don't know'. These three conversation enders are the reply of choice for a great slice of the working population. They are intended to effectively stop any requests or work from showing up on their desks. I don't believe there is anyway to quietly sooth your way into getting anything done when dealing with this type. If someone's default position is No, you have no option but to push. Yet, if you push, you're aggressive. If it was a man, they'd say he was getting it done. Let's stop making Aggressive + Women = Bad.
Friday, April 26, 2013
That's ok, I'll wait.
Still nothing? Want a hint?
They are CROSSED!
For someone who has not been able to cross their legs in about 5 years, this is monumental! I've lost 42 lbs and the thing I am luxuriating in the most is being able to FINALLY, finally cross my legs. In fact, I do it even when I don't have to. I've done it on every style of chair I can find. And I keep on doing it even when it becomes uncomfortable, because - damn it - I have 5 years to make up for.
In my glee I have noticed that some people seem to be ambidextrous leg crossers. Sly buggers. I just can't match that. I can only really cross my right leg over my left. If I go the other direction there is a danger of my left leg sliding off and shooting out unexpectedly causing a kicking or worse - tripping - accident that was holy unplanned. I try to make friends, not lose them. I guess this is why some people make it to the Met.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
So as you can see I have updated the look of this blog. I think you will find it much easier to navigate and read. It has even been voodooed through some CSS magic to show up in a way that - while not transcendent in its loveliness - on your mobile device won't cause seizures. Your welcome!
Since we are coming full circle I am also going to make a pledge to update this blog at least once a week. You'll most likely notice that my Pinterest and Twitter get updated more often. That is because Pinterest has pretty clothes, funky hairstyles, and only requires holding down one finger to pin. Besides procrastinating, I'm lazy. Twitter on the other hand is just the best place to talk endlessly about my dog. Who is the cutest dog in the world. Again, your welcome!
If I ever think of a way to talk more about my obsession with designer handbags I may make it up to 2 posts a week. But I don't want to get anyone too excited, I already delivered on the non-seizure mobile version. Which already makes me kind of the shit.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Saturday, February 09, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
2012 has challenged me from the beginning. Yes, there have been wins. I finally seem to have found a career I really enjoy. That wasn't something I thought would happen. The plan to grit my teeth & gut it out to retirement in a thankless industry seemed to be a done deal. I'm glad I was wrong about that.
We adopted our dog, Jessie. We didn't know a dog could be so much fun. In fairness, we hoped, but we didn't expect to get so much. Because of her we have been far more active than in the past. Every weekend is an adventure. We load her in the car & off we go. She's so excited by everything that we do how can we not feel the same?
But health wise, this has been a frustrating year. I've never felt my mortality so strongly. Suddenly, I found I didn't rebound the way I used to. Back problems plagued me consistently throughout the year. I spent a considerable about of time in pain this year due to this seemingly endless problem.
But what really messed with my mind is when my doctor told me I had to go on blood pressure medication. To say I wasn't thrilled is an understatement. Being on this medication caused me months of panic attacks as every chest pain or head ache was an impending heart attack or stroke. This is largely due to the dire warnings my now, previous, doctor inundated me with when I resisted going on medication & wanted to manage it with diet & exercise. But let's be honest, blood pressure medication is not compatible with Fabulous at 40! Blood pressure medication says: illness & clocks counting down. Blood pressure medication is a measure to hold back something worse.
My new doctor has told me I'm a very motivated patient. I've come to realize that most people accept medication no questions asked. They are happy to forget their problems & let the medication manage their issues. I don't feel that way. So I've decided to do something about it. I've decided to have weightloss surgery. Some people will think this insane. I don't, I'm grateful I have the option. There isn't a diet, eating plan or exercise regime I haven't tried. Some have worked better than others, but nothing ever works for the long term. I haven't given up on eating right or exercising, I still do both. I just can't handle some of the types of exercise I used to do. So instead of running, I walk. I'm really hoping with the weight off I can run again. I really miss it.
I expect to be judged & questioned on this decision. I expect to have any number people tell me I should try diet & exercise. To shake their heads & wonder why. I also expect that some will just judge me as lazy, sure I would be able to master this with a little more will power & dedication. But ultimately when your not on blood pressure medication & in semi-constant back pain, I can understand why you wouldn't get it. I know many other overweight people who are healthier than me. Who don't have to take medication or have a weekly appointment with their chiropractor. I wish that was me. Surgery terrifies me.
But given all this, today on my 41st birthday, I'm looking forward to the promise of a medication & pain free 2013, and letting out a sigh of relief that 2012 is done. I will not look back at this year from those ahead with fondness. In fact, I think it will take its place as one of those Hell years, best forgotten.