The Reluctant Oscar Guest

Sunday was that giant self-congratulatory Hollywood fun fest called, the Oscars. And as per usual Mark was my designated guest. He has resigned himself to the fact that I need someone to watch with and, sadly, it is going to be him. Not that he cares who wore Dior or Versace. He wouldn't know Dolce from Gabbana. But he likes to chuckle under his breath over my running commentary on what everyone is wearing. And, knowing that Jon Stewart was hosting softened the blow.

By and large the Oscars this year were pretty damn boring. IMHO there was not one home run dress. All the regulars: Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, etc. all disappointed in a absolutely astounding way. Of course, both are pregnant, so I will give them some lee way. But the best dress of the night had to be Renee Zelleweger's. Yet, the fact she looked like a starved waif in it absolutely ruined it for me.

Only 2 points in the night demand rehashing. The first, and my favorite, was when Gary Busey did, what I am going to call 'Verbally Buseyed', Ryan Seacrest on live TV. I can't stand RS. He has an insipid, suck-up manner that just grates on me. So naturally, I was rooting for Gary.

Which brings up the second point of interest and another reason I can't stand RS. He is interviewing Marion Cotillard from La Vie en Rose. A few minutes before that she had been interviewed by eTalk, our own Canadian TV program at the Oscars. When they asked her the standard, 'so who are you wearing?' She replied in with her wonderful French accent, 'Jean Paul Gaultier!' So, of course, they start talking to her in French. The whole thing was very meet cute. Then she gets to RS and he asks her the same question. When she responds in the same way his natural reaction, revealing his depth as a person who speaks only one language, is to mimic her words right back to her in a warbled French accent. I was embarrassed for him. What he did was the equivalent of having Mickey Rooney play a Chinese person in Breakfast at Tiffany's or have white people play Indians in Westerns. You could see she was visibly taken back by the comment, I wish I could find the video to show you, but RS has probably had the footage burned.

And that my friends, is as exciting as it got at the Oscars this year.