Recently, I read an article in Macleans about Editor Bonnie Fuller and her new book (find the details here). I have to say it is refreshing to hear someone not just talking about having it all, but spreading the idea. Over the last few years it seems I have been constantly confronted with articles (mainly written by men) about how women are 'opting out' of the work force. It seems that in many of these articles women just aren't cut out for having it all. Fuller seems to put this in greater perspective. While some women, mainly that slim majority that can afford to, may be opting out the vast majority of women are still doing it all: house, husband, kids and career. Though many of these women may not feel that they are living the 'having it all' lifestyle, none the less they are doing it. But it got me thinking, while I am all for women having it all, it is not for me. Focusing on my husband, my house and my career is about the speed I like it. I don't feel the need to throw in any more responsibilities. Lately, I have been getting a raft of emails with happy new baby pictures and I am constantly impressed that friends have decided to take this journey. I am not naive to what it takes to have and raise a child, though I have none of my own. This is just not a journey I want to take. Sometime ago my husband and I decided that we were good with being the cool aunt and uncle. We love our nieces and nephews to death and have a great time spoiling them rotten. To them we are just about the coolest adults they know (or so we think).
However, this attitude seems to bring forth one of two reactions. Either I am crazy and soon to be found living in a cave talking to myself, or I am suppressing my hardwired biological need to have children and am selfishly denying by genetic destiny. I am 34; trust me, if I had the biological urge it would at least be tingling by now. Of course, this doesn't stop certain people from informing me of the broken hearts of friends just like me who found out at 42 they did want to have kids and now they can't have them. I don't think people understand how insulting that kind of comment is. It assumes I am some idiot who has no idea of who I am or what I want. And as I have said, I am not interested in having it all (just most of it).
1 comment:
Good for you!! I fully support your decision. I love being the Cool Auntie. My Nepews run to the door screaming with excitement when I ring the doorbell. Where else do you get a reception like that. Then I load them up on sugar, play hours of x-Box, and leave to go back to my quiet house.
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