Friday, August 18, 2006

Office Martyrs

Office Martyrs. Bah. Are they the terrorists of the cubicle set? Spreading terror with their incessant whining in the coffee room. Unavoidably heard ragging about the boss in the hall way. Derailing meetings with their myriad complaints about why something can't be done.

If you have never actually met an Office Martyr, you should let out a sigh of relief. However, such luck may not hold forever so be prepared to duck under your desk if you hear the poisonous call of an Office Martyr (OM).

1. That's NOT in my job description
2. They don't pay me enough to do [task]
3. [Place name of superior or subordinate] is totally useless.

Unlike, say Bloggers, which people choose to read, OMs make everyone their accomplices, and usually against their will.

Which is why I love my girlfriend, Natasha, or as I have come to call her 'the Hammer of the Office Martyrs'. Natasha usually interrupts OMs in mid-bitch to tell them that since they hate their jobs so much they should quit and move on. Such comments are like krypton to OMs. They get their power from sucking all the joy out of the lives of those around them. When this power source is unplugged by calling thier bluff they usually tend to avoid you like the plague from that point forward. So take heart cublicle dwellers, you too can tell a negative colleague to shut-up or shove out, which will result in an OM free zone around your desk.

Picture from Flickr


Anonymous said...

Oh My GOD! I finally made it into the Blog. My work here is done!

Heidi Schempp Fournier said...

That's why I call you the Hammer!