Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Thinking About Compromise

This August I will be married 10 years. It hardly feels like that amount of time. I still get excited when I hear Mark's keys in the lock. When I think about going out for supper he is the first person that comes to mind as a great dinner date. I might see something in the news that I think he will be interested in and I email it. At the end of the day when he comes home I can hardly wait to spill about my whole day. A la amore!

If there is one thing I have learned, it is not that I am perfect or that Mark is. We work because we learned a long time ago that the most important lesson in a happy marriage is compromise. It is something that I tell all my friends, advice I give at engagement parties. Yet, there are a lot of people who think it is crap. I see the smile, the tilt of the head, they think I am full of shit.

The fact is that at times I feel like all I do is give, give, give and never get. And Mark feels that at times al he does is give, give, give. We both feel like sometimes we never get. Yet, we both give equally. I don't get more, nor does he. We are a partnership. Team Fournier. I know for some people that seems like a whole lot of hoey. But we do everything together. He supports me and I support him. We are equal in this marriage. We make sacrifices for each other. That is marriage.


Anonymous said...

I don't think you are full of shit! You and Mark are one of the best matched couples I know. The two of you are always demonstrating respect for one anothers feelings and goals. I love being around both of you because of the 'easy' relationship you two have worked so hard to build. Plus, Mark is hot! I know that I hope to be as lucky as you two someday, to find someone that is worth working with!

Anonymous said...

You both Rock!

Squirrelly Girly said...

While I have never been in a long term relationship, I still remember the day you first told me this - about how in compromising NO ONE gets their way and the other person thinks it sucks as much as you. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to pass this golden nugget along, as I think it's the BEST advice regarding marriage I have EVER heard!!