Completely Barking Mad

Memo

To: All Alberta Residents

CC: The Almighty

From: The Weather Office

RE: Continuing Crappy Weather
____________________________________________________________________

Yeah, we know. You're sick of the weather. Too much rain. Not hot enough. We have received your calls and emails. However, we would like to point out the Farmers are very happy with the situation; and after all this is Alberta.

So from here on out, we have just one thing to say: Suck it up, Buttercup. Pull up those big girl panties and buy an umbrella. Seriously, with Canadian Idol on you still have time to bitch about the weather?

If you're still upset may we suggest you buy a copy of The Secret. That is, if you haven't already. Maybe if enough people harness the power of positive thinking about the weather it will get better. But as a new age philosophy, totally dependent on faith, we offer no guarantees.

Please be aware we will not read anything that comes in after work hours. We have also turned off the answering machine. As employees of the Weather Office we aren't paid enough to care.