Wednesday, October 22, 2008

No Eye Candy for You

In the past two months of living in Banff, I have learned a few things. The biggest, is that there is absolutely no eye candy for females. You would naturally think that being in a quaint mountain town, surrounded by rugged landscape, you would have a better then average chance of seeing hot, brawny, outdoorsy men. You would be wrong. I don't know where the sizzling mountain men of lore or yonder have gone, but they don't live in Banff. Women here traipse around in head-to-toe skin tight Lululemon. Men walk around in dirty dungarees that are held around their waist by twine. Twine they stole from a beaver dam. Which is where it looks like most of them have been living for a significant amount of time. Poor, poor beavers.

This development as you can imagine has left me disappointed and sadly unaroused. I just don't get it. People don't continue to do things they get no reward for. It is basic drooling dog psychology 101. All I can think is - shit - these guys are actually getting laid. Because if they weren't, they might look in a mirror and realize to get a woman in their pants, they should wear some that don't stand up by themselves. That hair all over your body was only in, briefly, in the 70's, and even then it wasn't matted with sweat and gravel. That women, expect, nay demand, that there should be at least be a few hot, well muscled guys with carbiners slung over their shoulders wandering around. Manly men, who can talk to animals, discuss how to survive on lichen, and have at least a bear skin rug! Damn it, where have all the mountain men gone?

Image from Ekai's Photo Stream

Jessica, this image is for you :-)- hsf

3 comments:

Tash said...

WHAT??? That's it. It's official. This move was a BAD idea. No more mountain men?? What has the world come to? A world dominated by Republicans, Conservatives and lazy 'should be' mountian men. Ugh...how do we get up some mornings any more!?

Bina said...

Men walk around in dirty dungarees that are held around their waist by twine. Twine they stole from a beaver dam.

Oh my God that is so freaking funny! And yea, I would assume there would be great looking, manly men there. That is just sad.

jessica xoxoxoxoxoxox said...

i am SO happy to see pictures back! you are pretty cool. you can't stay somewhere where the men are ugly. how can you live there? i have never been to banff but i NEED my downtown services to keep me afloat. things like nails, hair and clothes are too important to sacrafice :):):)