Now I Know Why I Repress This Stuff

Yesterday, on our weekly trip to Chapters I picked up a copy of Suze Orman's book The Nine Steps to Financial Freedom.

For sometime I have only pick up O magazine to read her section. Before I started reading her column I didn't know that parents should cut off their adult children, and that you should never take money out of your retirement fund to pay for your children's schooling. Honestly, I didn't know those things made good financial sense. But one of the reasons I really like her is not only does she know her stuff financially, she deals with the emotions people have wrapped around their finances.

For example the first step in The Nine Steps to Financial Freedom is to think back to your childhood and try to identify the first time you became aware, really aware, of what money was and how it worked. She has found that our attitudes toward money are tied to one or two childhood experiences.

After this soul searching you have to do up a monthly budget. I know all Financial Planners tell you to do this, but last night I spent two hours trying to figure out our financial situation. Don't get me wrong, Mark and I aren't anywhere near stealing food from a dumpster, but after having to list EVERY thing we spend money on I feel shame. Ashamed, of all the stupid things we spend money on. Yet, I definitely would not cut any of them; yes, it is a matter of life and death to have my nails done and no, I am not capable of cleaning my own house. I would rather be on a chain gang.

Having said that, and after the internal wrangling were finished and I had finished dissecting every expense I concluded I was happier not knowing where our money goes. It was such a nerve wracking experience I practically had to spritzed my whole body with wine when I was done.